Saturday, October 24, 2009

Living with 'my story'

Vijay came with K this morning. K is a young student in a professional institution. Lives close by. He had already been shown some stammering videos- like the interview of Julia Irani. A certain softening of his attitude towards stammering had happened, because of that. But. Since he was to leave soon, there was not enough time for a gentle approach, so I stated bluntly: I stammer and I have stammered all my life. Surprised, he took the bait and began talking of his experinces: ragging, superficial friends, problem of giving attendance in the college, impending divorce of parents, and a constant feeling that "I have to live in this world so I must talk as they do.. and still, how can I ?".
K said a very significant thing suddenly: Till I saw those videos yesterday, I thought I alone stutter in the world..
But then, he had clear cut ideas as to what was wrong and what should be done. For example,he wants to just learn the "technique" and go away. His present academic downturn is because of certain teachers- he is clear about that. So, just to creat enough doubt, I asked him, what did he think was the cause of his stammering? Again, he was sure that it was because of lack of self confidence. But how much confidence or preparation do you need to answer your roll call in class? Could there be other reasons? Finally, he was open to other possibilities. I discussed "Neuro-physiological" model.
Many stammerers go for a reverse blaim game early in life. They hold themselves guilty for their stammering- instead of accepting it as a disease process beyond their control. This creates further emotional problems on top of the primary issues.
K has been taught bouncing and was given certain phone numbers of other PWS to practice bouncing with. Will he return? Difficult to say.

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